


Racing With the Wind

by bluetoast



Series: Angels and Ministers of Grace [14]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: BAMF Padmé Amidala, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Blizzards & Snowstorms, Caffeine Addiction, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Luke Skywalker is a good bro, Panic Attacks, Regret, Rey Needs A Hug, Sleep Deprivation, Vomiting, talking over coffee, thearpy, you might want some kleenex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8740390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetoast/pseuds/bluetoast
Summary: Ben returns home Wednesday morning, practically exhausted and asks Rey to come with him on an errand later in the day. She just wasn't expecting it to be to a psychiatrist's office. She also doesn't know what went on while he was inside, just that when he comes out, he needs some serious TLC. Luke speaks to both his mother and sister. Diana actually went to all her classes, but she doesn't remember a single thing other than that.HC Bingo - Group Support





	

_The Ninth Book – Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King  
Scribbled on the inside cover: December 13, 2010 – sent application to De Paul University_

Rey undid the chain lock as she passed the door of the apartment, yawning. She'd slept fairly well, despite being alone. At first, she'd tried sleeping in her room, and even though her current home was in a far safer neighborhood, and had nothing to really worry about, she'd left her bed and curled up in Ben's, the smell alone providing more comfort than a hundred locks and a pack of guard dogs ever could. Even though she had changed the sheets on Sunday while Ben was at work, her roommate's scent still clung to them, as it did on the pillows and the comforter.

She wasn't certain if she should consider the notion pathetic or romantic.

Still yawning, she went into her room, setting her coffee down and straightened up her bed, debating on making Ben's, deciding that since he was probably just going to collapse into it anyway, there was no point. She took a drink from her mug as she heard Arya let out a chirp, and the bell on her collar jangling as she ran from wherever she was hiding just as the elevator in the hall clanged open. “Are you kidding me?” She stood in her doorway as Arya sat down in front of the door, and then there was a jangling of keys and the door opened. 

“Good morning, Little Miss.” Ben looked exhausted. He shut the door behind him,quickly putting his keys and bag down, followed by removing his coat, while the cat sprang up on her back legs, pawing at his jeans. “Just a minute, just a minute..” He hung up his coat and then picked Arya up, chuckling. “Yeah, I missed you too.” He met Rey's gaze. “Morning.”

“Morning.” She smiled over her cup. “Don't let her fool you, she just got fed.” 

Ben gave her a worn smile. “It's all right.” He rubbed his nose against the cat before putting her down. “All right, off you go, I'm home.” 

“You going to have some breakfast?” She took another drink of coffee as he pulled off his shoes.

“I'm going to have some cereal, then get some rest.” He went into the kitchen and she followed, leaning against the threshold while he washed his hands and then fixed himself some food. “You get your errand run that you said you needed to yesterday afternoon?”

Rey thought about her trip to the bank, and how she'd been told to wait at least a week before withdrawing any funds from her new account. “Yeah.” She took a sip of coffee. “Since you're here, I know you're skipping your eight o'clock. Are you going to your class at noon?”

He shook his head, leaning against the fridge as he ate a mouth-full of Cheerios. “I've already turned my paper in, and since this is one I don't need to defend, I can miss class once. I think the professor would rather I skip her class than go and fall asleep during it.” 

“True.” She sighed. “Anything exciting happen at Michael's during the night?” 

“Not really.” He yawned, “unless getting everything done counts as exciting.” He smirked. “and I got caught singing along with the Christmas music on the radio by the stocking manager.” He ate some more cereal.

She chuckled, taking another sip of coffee. “Is that good or bad?”

“I'm not certain.” He tapped the spoon against the bowl. “Fortunately, she didn't film me with her camera phone, but I did get a nice round of applause.” 

“What were you singing?” Rey set her mug down and folded her arms. 

His cheeks went slightly pink. “You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch' sometimes it's good to be a baritone.” 

She covered her mouth to control her laughter. “Are you serious?” 

“Yes.” He was still bright as he finished his meal. “At least it wasn't Santa Baby.” 

“I believe to sing that song you need to be half-drunk.” She picked up her mug. “Not that I've ever been drunk in my life.” 

“You're not missing anything.” He rinsed his bowl out in the sink, washing the dish. “Oh... I have to go somewhere after your class today.” He looked over his shoulder at her. “I was wondering if you'd come with me, just so I don't fall asleep on the L on the way home and end up in a part of the city I'd rather avoid.” 

Rey took a drink. “Not a problem. You go get some rest, you look about ready to fall asleep standing up, and I know for a fact I couldn't get you into bed wherever you fell.” 

Ben smiled and came over, kissing her cheek. “Thank you. See you around two.” He stepped out of the kitchen. “Don't forget to leave your laptop charging before you leave, the storm that's coming tonight is supposed to be brutal.”

“I will.” She answered, turning to watch him head into his room. “Sweet dreams.” 

He held up a hand in acknowledgment and shut the door behind him. 

“You are so tired.” Rey shook her head and went to her room to get dressed for the day, Arya following at her heels.

*

_The Tenth Book – Curses Be Damned by Edmund Holtz  
Written on the title page: Congrats on making it into De Paul, you crazy Cubs/Red Sox Fan! - Nate_

Ben rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands, doing his best to control his breathing. Falling apart in a psychiatrist's office was actually a responsible place to do it, even if it was somewhat public. Rather like a pregnant woman who was supposed to be on bed-rest visiting a non-contagious sick relative in the hospital. If something were to happen, at least you were around people who could help the situation. He heard the door click open and then shut, but he didn't lift his head to acknowledge Doctor Andres. 

“Is that your roommate out there in the waiting room?” There was a faint sound of the doctor pulling his chair back and sitting down at his desk. “Ben?”

He raised his head, but didn't sit up. “Yeah. I asked her to come with me so I don't fall asleep on the L.” He swallowed. “That's only partially true.” 

The man scribbled something in his notebook. “You didn't spontaneously decide to return to Buffalo for Thanksgiving, did you?” 

“Hell no.” Ben let out a breath. “I don't think I'll ever be going back there.” He swallowed and straightened up. “I've had a week of extremes, and that, compounded with the holidays looming, just...” 

He set down his pen. “One thing at a time, Ben. Just tell me what's happened one thing at a time.” 

“Right.” He thought back to last Wednesday. “It started off fine, I had no issues at work, I got through Thanksgiving without any problems, like I tend to do.” He looked down at his hands. “Friday was when it started.” He raised his eyes, not certain what the man's reaction would be; “Rey and I had sex.” 

The doctor picked up his pen, scribbling again. “Were either of you drunk or otherwise incapacitated?”

“No.” He snapped, anger rushing in. “You think I'd do that to someone? Ever?” 

“Standard question, Ben.” He gave him a ghost of a smile. “So would you say you and Rey are dating?”

“We don't know what we are. She's never been in a relationship before and my only one was far from healthy.” He stood up, he needed to expend some energy. His short heavy sleep had left him feeling wired. “My book's getting published. Leslie and Gwen took Rey and I out for dinner on Saturday night.” He he paced the length of the rug, wringing his hands. 

“Congratulations, Ben. That's wonderful.” He gave him a sincere smile. “Kylo Ren?”

“Kylo Ren.” He returned the smile, doing his best to cling to the emotion tied to the letter he'd opened Friday. “And uh... Sunday at work, a friend from grade school turned up there. I hadn't seen or talked to her since she moved before seventh grade. Jasmine. We used to call her Fours.” 

“Was this woman from your small group of friends, or merely a classmate?” He didn't say anything as Ben continued to pace. 

“Group. Hence the nickname – Fours. Jordan called her that first.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And I would have been fine, no problems at all, except she came back to the framing counter, she wanted to know if I had Shelly's phone number.” 

“Did you tell her what happened to your friend?” He let out a breath.

“Hell no.” He stopped, clutching the chair. “I talked to Nate and we both agree that Shelly wouldn't want her to know. Fuck, I haven't even told Rey what happened to her. She just knows I have three dead friends. But I spent the rest of my day thinking about how close Fours and Shelly were, and it was like being back in my junior year of high school, all over again.” 

Andres set his pen down, his face grave. “What's got you so angry Ben? I haven't seen you like this in years. This goes beyond a chance meeting at work.” 

“I became a big brother this week. Or rather, found out that I'm a big brother, because my sister is eleven years old.” He looked down into the seat of his chair, “my dad had an affair when I was around thirteen, and while my mom knew all about it, neither of us knew about Diana. Or that my father was still in contact with her mother.” Ben swallowed. “Guess that explains why my mom wasn't mad when I ripped up my map of Europe and threw it away when my father didn't turn up for eighth grade graduation.” He was about to start speaking again when it hit; panic. 

His vision and his hearing whited out; it was as if the world shattered, leaving him adrift in this sea of wretched emptiness. There was nothing to hold onto, and Ben couldn't even think of a reason why he should. It was so pointless, wasn't it? He was pretty pointless. 

Reality slammed back into focus as the stench of vomit permeated his nose and he found himself looking down into Doctor Andres's trashcan, his throat raw and the contents of his stomach now settling on the tissues inside the garbage. He spat out the last of the sourness and then felt the man rubbing his back. “Sorry.” 

“It's in the can, not on the carpet.” He kept moving his hand in circles. “Feel better?”

“A little.” He took the offered tissue and blew his nose, setting the can down, noticing for the first time he was kneeling on the floor. “Not as bad as last time.”

“No.” He handed Ben the box of tissues. “You want to stay down here for a bit?”

He nodded, blowing his nose. “Guess it was easier when I just thought my father was a workaholic who didn't have time to come home as often as he wanted.”

“Let me get you some water, Ben. You stay put.” the man rose from the rug and went over to a mini-fridge, returning a moment later with a bottle. “Here.”

“Thanks.” He took it and took several gulps, the cool liquid soothing him somewhat. He sat down,holding the water in both hands, not wanting to raise his eyes. The empty feeling was still there; a sodden, soggy blanket that wanted to pin him to the floor, offering no comfort, only cold and damp; buried. “I'm not going to start taking medication.”

“I wasn't going to suggest it.” The man sat down on the rug with him, leaning back against his desk. "Some people need medication to function, but given your body's reaction to the one time we tried it, it does you more harm than good.” He scribbled something down, then gave him a smile. “I would suggest, however, you take another look at your triggers, make sure you haven't missed one.”

“Spent too many years not talking about problems.” He took a drink of water. “I sometimes think that if I'd started therapy sooner, and my mom had also gone to seen one, I'd have at least fifty percent less problems.” He coughed, the burning, bubbling feeling in stomach starting again. “Shit.” He managed to get out before puking in the trash again. 

“Better out than in.” the doctor offered. “Finished?”

“I think so.” He wiped his mouth with a tissue. “Sorry about the mess.”

“It's all right, you're not the first person to puke in my trashcan this week.” He chuckled. “Tell me some more positive things, Ben.”

“I'm going to South Dakota for Christmas. My grandmother sort of asked me if Rey and I wanted to go. She hates the idea of me being all alone for the holiday.”

“Something to look forward to then.” He made another note. “Have you told Rey about your friends from high school?” 

He grimaced. “Not in detail.” He took a tentative sip of water. “You think I should?”

The man nodded. “It's a key part of your past, Ben. I know you don't want to share a lot of details, but if you're going to continue having an intimate relationship with her, she needs to know. I want you to do that before I see you again.”

“I can do that.” He balled up his tissue and dropped it into the trash. “Next week?”

“Yes. You need to be in here at least once a week.” He got to his feet and went around his desk.

Ben took a breath before he stood, righting the chair from where he'd knocked it over when he'd crashed to the ground. “Friday's my last session in the art department.”

“Two o'clock next Wednesday work for you?” He made a note in his appointment book.

He nodded. “Sounds great.” He set the bottle of water down and rubbed his face, feeling only slightly better than he had when he walked in here. 

“I'm going to suggest you screen your calls. Don't talk to either of your parents just because they call. If you don't want to speak to them, then don't.” Doctor Andres's face was stern. “I'm serious, Ben. I believe it would be best for your overall health if you were the one to initiate contact when you're ready for it, not when they want your attention.” His face softened. “Is Arya going to be going to South Dakota with you?”

He let out a laugh. “Of course she is. Although I know I'll probably have to get some Xanax from the vet to get her on the plane and back again.” 

*

_The Eleventh Book – The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara  
Name printed neatly on the inside cover: Bail Organa_

The phone rang twice before it was answered. “Skywalker residence, may I help you?” 

“Good afternoon, Luke how are you?” Padme smiled at the sound of her son's voice, settling into her easy chair next to the window, knowing that where she was calling, it was freezing cold, while where she sat, it was still a balmy, sunny afternoon.

“Inside, warm and dry, glad that I tied ropes to the barns before the storm hit.” He let out a breath. “It started snowing shortly after the kids got home.” He sighed. “How are you, Mom?”

“Oh, I'm good, getting ready for my trip up to see you all.” She let out a breath. “Have you talked to Leia recently?”

“No.” He coughed. “Excuse me. What's wrong?'

“She's moving to St. Louis.” Padme took a drink from her mug of tea. “Something to do with work. I for one, am glad she's finally leaving Buffalo.” 

Her son let out a short laugh. “I don't think any of us have really liked Buffalo. Even when I was a kid, all I could think of was leaving the place.”

“That's your father in you, Luke.” She let out a sigh. “Buffalo was only meant to be temporary. It was easier to stay there when your grandparents were alive and could watch you and your sister while your father and I worked.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Then came the accident and after that, I knew we'd be there for a long time.” 

“Leia's remained there waiting for people who are never coming home.” He let out a breath. “She didn't understand why we all wanted out of that place. You, me, Ben.” 

“I believe she's planning on sending that dining room table of hers to you. God knows, you can actually get some use out of that Ethan Allen showroom piece. It's just been siting in her house, waiting for a family to gather around it.” 

There was a pause. “That thing can seat twenty with all the leaves in it, right?”

“I believe so.” Padme had decided not to mention what Leia had told her about Han and Sonja. That was not her information to share. “So I understand we'll be ten for Christmas?” 

“Yes we will.” His tone became lighter. “Christmas Eve lasagna, mass time to be determined by the weather report.”

“Excellent. Ben's supposed to call me tonight to let me know when he and Rey are done with finals, we can pin down a travel day.” She smiled. “Now, please tell me someone in that house knows how to make a pineapple upside down cake, because it's Ben's favorite and we'll all be there for his birthday.” 

Luke laughed. “It just so happens that the baker of the second place cake at the Dakota State Fair lives in this house and she just happened to bake a pineapple upside down cake for that event.” he made an odd noise. “How Daisy found the time to do that, come in third in the horse and buggy competition and get her summer reading done all in a month when I still haven't found time to read Ben's book that he sent me back in April, I don't know.” 

*

_The Twelfth Book – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak  
Note written on the flyleaf: Happy 16th Birthday Ben! Love always, Jen _

Rey didn't say anything about how pale Ben was when he came out of the doctor's office. She didn't ask him how much sleep he had gotten in the morning, but she knew it wasn't enough. The two of them hadn't exchanged more than a handful of words since they came home. A week seemed to have passed since his coming back this morning and their return this evening. She'd had no idea that when he asked her to go with him on his errand, she was going to find herself sitting in the waiting room of a psychiatrist's office.

They had been home for nearly four hours and Ben hadn't emerged from his room since.

“You want some dinner?” She leaned against the threshold, watching his back as he lay in the bed. “Or some toast and tea?”

He turned over, and she could see his face was blotchy. “I think if I eat anything, I'll throw up.”

“You sure?” She came over to the bed and sat down, stroking his forehead. 

“Yeah.” He grimaced as his stomach rumbled. “I don't care, I don't trust myself to eat. Not just yet.” 

“I won't pester you then.” Rey shifted how she was sitting so that Ben's head was in her lap. “I'm surprised you didn't fall asleep in Life Drawing. You looked ready to drop any minute.” She smoothed down his hair. It was damp, but it still felt soft under her fingers.

“Monster.” He let out a half laugh. “I suppose if I had to pick a drug to be addicted to, caffeine is the most socially acceptable.” 

“I've never had a Monster, or any other energy drink.” She looked down at him, and saw that his eyes were closed. “Well, I did down a Red Bull one time during finals of my senior year. A mistake I don't ever intend to duplicate.” 

Ben chuckled, rubbing his cheek against her flannel covered thigh. “Red Bull is awful. I've only been drinking the Monster Zeroes, that don't have sugar added.”

She let out a snort. “I don't think that really detracts, Ben.” She leaned back against the headboard, “I put both of our phones on their chargers, put all the locks in place and fed Arya.” 

“I know you fed Arya. If you hadn't, she'd be yowling by now.” He sighed, his hand settling on her calf. “I'm sorry I'm such a wreck.” 

“Compared to some wrecks I've seen, you're actually in decent shape.” Rey closed her eyes. “And you don't need to apologize. You've had a traumatic week.” She slid her hand down the back of his head, absently tugging on his ear as she brushed past it, causing Ben to inhale sharply, and the hand on her calf to tighten. “That okay?” She started, looking back down at him.

“Yeah.” He let out a faint breath. “I just wasn't expecting it.” 

Rey smiled, running the back of her hand down his cheek. “Would you be against moving to the couch and watching the season premiere of _Vikings?”_

Ben sat up, groaning slightly as he did and then set a hand on her cheek, pressing his lips against the other. “Sounds good.” His stomach rumbled again. “You go ahead and get settled. I think I will try to eat some toast.” 

She smiled in response, kissing his forehead. “You're welcome to have some of my Nutella on it.” 

*

_The Thirteenth Book – Watership Down by Richard Adams  
Written on the inside back cover: University of Wyoming is my safety. A school that's far, far, away._

Leia pushed open the door of Ben's room and flipped on the light. The air smelled faintly of Lemon Pledge and something she couldn't quite place. The maid that came by twice a week dusted and vacuumed the room, and she was the only one who had been in here with any regularity. She looked slowly around, noting just how little had changed; the framed picture of Fenway Park still hung over his desk, and the Cubs flag still hung on the wall over his bed. She'd been fairly certain that Ben would have taken that with him.

Two six foot tall bookshelves flanked the room's large window, nearly all of Ben's books still in place, with random gaps here and there. She crossed over to them, running her fingers along a row, noting that the third book in the _Harry Potter_ series was missing. She was going to need several shipping boxes to send them all to him. Along the shelves, a few knickknacks still stood in place; and she picked up the black and red Pinewood Derby car that her son and stepfather had made together. The fifth-place trophy was there as well; that had been when? Third grade?

Leia vaguely remembered going out for pizza with her parents and Ben to celebrate his win. 

She didn't remember any other celebrations for such occasions until her son graduated from eighth grade. Or any after that until he graduated high school. She had no idea what her son had done for college graduation. She replaced the car and walked over to the closet opening the door and finding a few articles of clothing still hanging inside; Ben had long since outgrown them. She sighed and glanced to the wall next to her, the framed certificates and assorted plaques mocked her. 

These were the sorts of things that should have been hanging in the downstairs hallway, a testament of her remarkable child that she'd cruelly ignored.

The jangling of her cellphone jarred her from her thoughts and she pulled it from her pocket. “Morning, Luke. What time is it there?”

“It's a little before seven.” Her brother let out a laugh. “I didn't catch you driving, did I?”

“No. I'm at home today.” She pulled the chair of Ben's desk out and sat down. “I'm moving to St. Louis.” She set her mug on the desk. “Or did you talk to mom already?”

“She told me you were moving, that's about it.” She heard movement and then a sound she couldn't place. “You still going to Europe for Christmas?”

“No.” Leia said it more sharply than she planned. “I canceled my trip so I can focus on packing.” 

“Fess up, little sister. I always know when you're hiding something.” He replied, sounding more like their mother than she ever could. “Come on, what's wrong?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. Luke always called her 'little sister' when he wanted to be serious with her. He was a total of five and a half minutes older, but sometimes it felt like five and a half years. “You better sit down.” She may as well just tell her brother everything – who knew, it might help her start to feel better. “It's a long story.” 

*

_The Fourteenth Book – Roar of the Heavens by Stefan Bechtel  
Scrawled inside: Happy Birthday 18th Birthday Ben! - From Daisy_

The storm was still raging outside, the foul weather showing no signs of slowing, even nine hours into it. Classes had been canceled, the L wasn't running and Chicago had ground to a halt. Up in their apartment, seventeen floors from the ground, Ben felt isolated from the world. They couldn't see the ground from the windows, and he was relieved that the power was still working. Neither he nor Rey had to go into work today; their bosses had called and told them to remain at home, rather than risk coming out. The good news in his regard was, with the store closed, no more orders could be added to their work.

Not that either of them could have gotten to work with the L practically out of commission.

He leaned back against the headboard, taking a sip of coffee as Rey came back into the room. “I'd have gotten you a cup when I went.” 

“No, no...” She set her mug down while she got back into bed. “I had to go to the bathroom anyway.” She sighed as Arya settled into a spot between them, cleaning herself. “Does that cat ever get brushed?”

“I brushed her Tuesday.” Ben let out a breath. “Unfortunately, she likes crawling under things and that tends to muss her fur. But, unlike a Persian, her coat's tougher than that. For Arya, brushing is more of a treat than a necessity.” He took a long drink of coffee. “I'm just glad we knew about the canceled classes last night, so we could sleep in without having to worry.” 

“You needed it.” She answered, picking her mug back up. “This is actually my first snow day.” She grinned. “Never have those in Houston.”

He laughed. “Well, we are not going out to play in the snow. It's a damn near whiteout conditions out there, and given our luck, the power would fail and one of the last things I want to do is climb seventeen flights of stairs.” 

Rey wrinkled her nose. “Me neither. Not unless I had to.” 

Ben took a drink of coffee. “Advantage to living off campus number sixty – not having to leave the dorm when it's ten below and snowing when some drunk asshat pulls the fire alarm at two in the morning or someone burns their microwave popcorn.” He chuckled. “We had a fire drill here in the building about four years ago. I wasn't about to make Aunt Sabe go down seventeen flights of stairs – so I carried her on my back. She isn't all that heavy, she might weigh eighty pounds, soaking wet.” He caught sight of the look on Rey's face, somewhere between amused and admiration. “What?”

“I'm trying to picture you with a little old lady on your back, carrying her down the stairs. It'd be easier if I knew what your aunt looked like, because all I can see Shirley MacClain from _Downton Abbey.”_

He laughed. “Personality, more or less. Appearance... somewhere close to Judi Dench.” He shook his head. “Gwen took a picture of it and Aunt Sabe has it on her Facebook.” He pulled a face. “All of her friends, including my grandmother, were rather jealous.” He took another drink. “That reminds me, you mind if we're back in Chicago before New Year's Eve?”

“No.” She smiled over the rim of her cup. “Is there any particular reason?”

He looked down into his coffee. “Well... every year Gwen and Leslie drag me with them to the New Years Eve event at the Art Institute.” He felt his cheeks go slightly pink. “I basically go with them so they can drink and I serve as designated driver.” He took a breath and turned to look at her. “So I'm asking you if you would like to go out on New Year's.” 

“Go to the Art Institute.... on New Years Eve?” Rey looked stunned. “That sounds horribly formal.”

“Not so much. What you wore to dinner on Saturday is just fine.” He frowned. “You have been to the Institute, haven't you?”

She went pink. “No.” She took a sip of coffee. “So what, we go there, gaze at the collection and eat hors d’oeuvres?” 

Ben set his mug down and folded his arms. “Well, you don't get to walk around with a plate loaded down with food, you have to stay in one area for that, but basically, yes.” He pulled a face. “There's something very amusing about watching someone in designer clothes eat mini-tacos.” 

She grinned slyly over the rim of her mug. “I am so taking pictures.” 

“As long as it's of people and not a painting, there shouldn't be a problem.” He took another drink of coffee. He was going to tell Rey about Shelly before the day was over. The sooner he told her, the sooner he could stop dreading it.

*

_The Fifteenth Book – The Good News Holy Bible  
Written in the stamp on the flyleaf: For Benjamin “Francis” Organa Solo on the event of his Holy Confirmation. May 17, 2007. From your Uncle Luke_

There were shipping boxes in Diana's room when she got home from school. She fell on her bed, glowering at the stack, folded in a neat pile in front of her bookshelves. She knew the idea was to pack up everything she wouldn't need for several months and ship them to the States. She had no idea how long it would take the items to get to Illinois, but odds were, she wouldn't see the packages until the middle of January, at best. 

“How was school, honey?” Mom's voice cut into her thoughts. 

“It was fine.” She hid her eyes on her arms. “I went to all my classes today.” She heard her mom come over and sit on the bed, her hand rubbing her back. “Mom...”

“Your uncle called this morning. Needed some information to enroll you in your new school.” She let out a sigh. “They're having a blizzard, said that they were expected to get two feet of snow.” 

“Is that normal for them?” She mumbled, not wanting to think about the dreaded cold she was heading for. Not that Rotterdam was anywhere near tropical, but it might as well be for what she had heard.

“Not this early, normally the bad weather isn't until February.” She smoothed down her hair. “I was thinking that maybe, after tomorrow, you just forget about school here and we spend your last weeks here together.”

That caused Diana to sit up, frowning. “There's two and a half weeks left of the semester.” She bit at her bottom lip. “That's a lot of school to miss.” 

“And you'll be at a completely new school in January. Do you really think some clod of a college interviewer is going to ask you why you missed two and a half weeks of school when you were eleven.” Sonja smirked. “And even if they did, they would have to be a heartless human being to not understand why you did.” She smoothed down Diana's hair. “I'll withdraw you from school and we can work on your English at home. Your uncle, no doubt, will have you on pre-algebra before the school year is out.” 

She let out a weak chuckle. “That might not be so bad.” She hugged her pillow. “Anything else?”

Sonja smiled and reached out to smooth down her daughter's hair. “I'm supposed to make sure you pack at least one nice dress in your luggage. Your aunt and uncle go to a special event at the Chicago Art Institute every New Year's Eve. He says you don't have to be too dressy, church clothes are fine.” 

“I don't even know what they have at that museum.” She rubbed her nose, then shot a glance at the folded boxes. “Could we look that up after dinner?” 

“Of course we can sweetie.” She leaned over and kissed her forehead. “One should always have a list when heading into a place as big as that.” 

*

_The Sixteenth Book – I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew by Doctor Seuss  
Note on the inside cover: Happy 5th Birthday to my Little Prince! I love you Ben – Mom_

Rey frowned out the window, glowering at the still falling snow. The sky had grown dark, but still the weather didn't relent. Ben had told her that it was rare for there to be this much snow this early in the season, and she hoped this wasn't a portent of the winter yet to come. Classes were again canceled for tomorrow, and she decided that she was going to tell Ben about her letter before lunch tomorrow. It wasn't like he wasn't going to find out eventually. She turned just as she heard a soft thud behind her and saw Ben putting plates down on the table. “What's for dinner? You wouldn't let me into the kitchen.” 

“A simple fare of pasta and garlic toast.” He looked down at their plates. “I talked to my grandmother, and we will be flying out of O'Hare on the twenty-first, returning on the twenty-seventh.” He took a breath. “I already had time put in anticipating a visit, so I just have to add to it.” 

She came over to the table. “I shouldn't have any trouble getting off work, given that all the people who go to school somewhere else are going to be back to work the holidays.” He held her chair out for her and she slid into it. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” He sat down across from her, and she saw him clutch the table for a moment before picking up his fork. “We have seasonal workers, so it's not as if I'm going to leave them stranded.” 

“What does your uncle's family have for Christmas dinner? Turkey?” She picked up her fork. “That's what the Damerons have.” Rey glanced up to see him tearing a piece of bread in half.

“They have lasagna on Christmas Eve, which, while it does come from a box, it still good. On Christmas, they don't have a main... I guess you could say a main dish, like turkey or prime rib, but rather twelve smaller dishes that would be twelve courses, if they weren't all on the table at the same time.” 

She grinned. “I think I may have to take the stairs here a few times to burn off holiday weight gain. Are we having something special on your birthday?”

He chuckled. “Uncle Luke asked me, and said what I wanted wouldn't be a problem. It's the same thing I always ask for at least once when I visit.” 

“What's that?” Rey focused on her pasta.

“Fried Max and Ruby with mashed potatoes.” He snickered. “I can tell you what that is, or you can guess.”

There was only one thing she could think of when she heard the names Max and Ruby, which also brought on flashbacks of baby-sitting holy terrors of children. “We've having fried rabbit?”

“It's delicious, better than chicken.” He replied. “They raise rabbits on their farm, so they have it at least once every other week.” He gave her a look. “You're okay with eating rabbit, aren't you?”

“I've never had it.” She stabbed at a meatball. “Then again, I haven't been to South Dakota either.” 

He smirked over his forkful of pasta. “You think it's windy here? Just wait until you're in a place that has neither buildings, hills or trees to block said wind.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr - I'm soldierofhalla17.


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